Waking up felt impossible this morning. My body had sunk into the bed and the night had attatched itself to me. After the fruit juice Tony brought me in bed, I started to come to. Then the excavating began. All day was an inch toward memory, toward the new life. I went through waves of clinging and release. I swam and loosened the pain between my shoulder blades, stretching slowly. I think that's where my wings are growing in, where the pain is. I sat with the sun from its first sign of setting until the new night star had appeared. I wrote and remembered how to pray again. How to be in total surrender and say help and I do not know.... Breath in, thank you....breath out, for give me. Howling to you from the holy road, X=h/m, L