More Soon...

I know I said I would write more about this experience, the whole thing, about being Mama and all that and I will too, but not here, not now...it's something I'm working on, see, a new multimedia blog experience, and I'll dish it all out there soon. For now I'll just say that I am thankful to have settled in Colorado with my Baba and my baby Louise, deeply thankful for the friends and family who helped us grow through this Summer with such grace, and full of gratitude for this amazing life that has come into my life. Thanks to Angela and Michael for taking this picture of the ancient soul who blesses me with her presence every day, teaching me like the greatest spiritual teacher...true humility, patience, trust, relax, laugh, and sing, sing, sing...until soon, holy now, L

Life With Baby

This is the best thing that's ever happened to me....and of course, as life would have it, it's the hardest too. She is my everything these days. Her facial expressions carry me from holy now to holy now and though I'm going on 4-5 hours of sleep a night, I am somehow able to wake up every day feeling stronger and more refreshed than the day before. I am reading a lot too, while she nurses, and just starting to get a chance to write while she sleeps. At this moment I'm waiting for visiting friends to make me French Toast and balancing a few too many things but I'll write more soon friends, until then, a very holy now.

Louise Dharma-Moon

I wish I had more time to share with you, in depth, my feelings about this journey I'm on as a new mother, but in this first month Louise Dharma-Moon is my only focus. When I'm able to eat, sleep and dream of any thing but this now child I promise to report back in detail. Until then, I'm cherishing every moment and wishing that your days are a long stream of holy nows.

Baba, Bananas and Baby

It's three thirty in the morning, three twenty nine to be exact and the moon is on it's first night of waning but still almost full. This baby loves nines and threes– conceived (we believe) on 9/9/09 or else 9/11/09...I, of course, am full with child and won't be waning until she arrives, journeying like a space traveler through the canal, across time, into the Now of this strange and wonderful Universe, landing in this holy place called Earth.

I could have gone back to sleep easily enough after I woke up, a few moments ago, but I had a drink of water, ate a banana and remembered how much I love writing in the middle of the night–when the moon is big like the Mother. Instead, I put on my slippers and robe and came into this dreamy Nursery–which doubles as my writing studio–looked around at the magical straw bassanet with the mobile from Africa hanging over it, the colorful elephant mobile hanging over the changing table, the fantastical books upon books lining the shelves, my desk full of my own mystical toys, the wooden cuts outs of the lion, the tin man and the scarecrow that hang on the walls (made by my friend Rex in Missouri), the life size cardboard figure of Dharma Dog sitting on the antique pinstriped princess chair and the wall size glittering portrait of the moon (also created by Rex) and I thought, "this is real, she is almost here."

I thought about what Baba said at the Baby blessing Mama Hillybean and Shante hosted for little Louise Dharma-Moon on the deck of the lake house this past Wednesday when we sat amongst flowers, fresh papaya and rippling water. Five of us watched the baby geese swim between their mother and father birds as Baba went on with his statement of intention about fatherhood... "...and I intend to give her a safe and loving home..." A safe and loving home. That is something I have spent 36 years on the Holy Road trying to find, something he has given me and now, we'll, together, give it to her, to our cosmic partner we're about to meet, Baby Louise.

This pregnancy has been a joy and an inspiration throughout it's whole unfolding. I've been very healthy and I think it's in part because, every night I eat a banana. Baba says she'll love bananas; Who doesn't? They are the ultimate comfort food, in my mind, always willing to settle an otherwise potentially confused stomach.

As I sit here, baby Louise moves inside my belly, giving kicks and dancing. I can practically hear her singing. Signs of practice contractions come and go without any particular pattern. She could arrive any day now, any night now, any time now. She, our soul mate we've been traveling with for millions of lifetimes, will come to meet us again-sometime in the next two weeks. Holy Now.

There are no words to describe this feeling except maybe, "thank you...thank you Baba, thank you bananas, thank you baby."

Be Here Now Bunny

I'm 34 weeks and counting now. I am excited and anticipating what life will be like as a new mother, as new parents. We're having baby showers and asking our friends to bring us written wisdoms about parenting or childhood to collect in little Louise's baby book. Some days I feel like I have an exam coming up and I don't know how to prepare for it. We're taking birthing classes and baby care classes which helps us have some idea what to expect, still though, mostly it is a great mystery.

Meanwhile, though we miss Dharma deeply, we are so enjoying the calm before the change. Our days are spent writing, singing, walking in nature, dreaming, reading, sleeping, eating while spending as much time as we can with our east coast friends and family before we move out West.

We celebrated Easter with our dear friends Cam, Hilly and Shante. I was the Be Here Now Bunny wearing a lovely maternity dress that Nina made for me. This rabbit has already recovered from living in the hole and has come up to remember the real time, the true time, the only time is Now time. Still, Six year old Shante and the Be Here Now Bunny had a somewhat comical run in over the question of sharing the magic eggs, hence the funny sequence of photos you see above... I know the bunny ends up looking a like the villainous one but it really wasn't like that at all.

Recording and filming the Dharma song was fulfilling.



It seemed to put a nice period on the end of that life passage, the last sentence of that chapter in that book of our journey. On top of the monthly recordings, I'm continuing to write two novels and a children's picture book with the help of my friend James who's doing some reading and editing for me. I'll look forward to sharing those works publicly when they're ready. And that's it for now...the next time I write, I'll probably be ready to pop but until then, holy now as always.

DHARMA PORTRAIT BY MADELINE FALK, www.madelinefalk.com

He took me to my true self and to my true love, my Baba. He was my dog and my guide and in many ways, my god–my seeing eye god. Guarding me from demons and danger and always there, always always there without condition, without judgment, bringing me back to center.

He is a guru, a Master who teaches me still, to sleep when I'm tired, to eat when I'm hungry, to take a long walk in Nature every day and "to let the soft animal of my body love what it loves" as Mary Oliver writes in Wild Geese. Love and play are the morals by which he sets his compass and no moment is more or less important than the next. Every moment is the most important moment and every moment is Now. There is only Now. He tells me songs to write, stories to script, poetry to read...he is the great and holy Dharma and he gave me the eye through which I am able to see my destiny. Thank you is such a small phrase for such a giant soul but it is all I have, gratitude running through every vein, every bone, every memory of which there are millions. After 14 years together (he lived to be 171/2) I am humbled by his friendship and continue to be devoted to his whiskers, his spots, his funny titled expressions, his groans, grumbles, barks, growls, his lessons and his farts, especially his epic farts... all the quirks and truths I can't capture here, not yet anyway.

These are photos from Hawaii too, the ten days of belated honeymoon my Baba and I took together just after Dharma left his costume and traveled Home. Of course, little Louise Dharma-Moon is growing in my belly and so I'm big like a Buddha and thrilled by the miracle. James met us on the island and we shared some great adventures (celebrating the finishing of draft one of the novel he's been helping me edit for a couple years now)...here's to Dharma and the rainbow that arches across the universe connecting Time and Eternity to Now as life keeps growing on.







And one more thing, some day the kicking baby in my belly will be a brilliant woman fulfilling her own destiny and bringing peace to earth, so here's a belly shot pure and simple...I'm 30 weeks as of yesterday!

New Year, New Life, Thank you for*Giving me all this love!

I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. Hmmm...four months in the big picture isn't too bad I suppose but so much has happened that four month feels like much longer. You may know from the webcast, facebook or other means of communicating with us that I'm pregnant and our baby is due June 6th! We found out on the weekend of our wedding anniversary and have been celebrating ever since. Of course, I've been growing bigger as I've been celebrating–evident from these pictures.

Meanwhile, I've been working hard to finish my book–yes, the same book that I've been writing for the last three years–before the baby comes. Thanks to my friend James and his help with reading and editing chapters, I will be making my deadline. Howlelujah!

We spent the holiday traveling back from Colorado to Connecticut, stopping to see family in Wisconsin and performing a new Year's show with The Troubadours and The Sirens in Lousville, KY.

And...drum roll...Big news came yesterday...we found out we are expecting a little girl. I had the feeling all along that it was a girl who had chosen to come through us this time around. I have seen her in my dreams as a baby and as a grown woman, really!
She is beautiful, healthy and brilliant and in the dreams she tells me she is one of "The Children of Now", helping to bring peace to earth in her lifetime. Holy holy. I am honored to be the vessel.

If you're wondering who did that masterpiece painting behind me in the photos, it was created by Bart Bean (Bootleggin' Bean) from Columbia Missouri. The frame is hand built by his powerful hands and it is the most wonderful piece of art I've ever seen. He gave it to us as a thank you for the work we did in Columbia and I can only say that I am humbled–that gift really brings me to my knees and helps me make sense out of our whole Midwest journey. It was about the friends we made and the earth family we found, that's why we went to the heart.

So that's my update for now, quick I know, but James said it was about time I posted new news and I wanted to make sure to get something up before we head to NYC for the weekend. More to come about the adventures of this holy road, growing a life inside my belly, and loving the Source of life. Hopefully in less than four months, otherwise, next pictures will be of me holding the little angel! I'll really try...

oh and by the way, did I mention I love my husband? He is going to be the best "Pa" a girl could ever dream of (for those of you who don't it, the many episodes of Little House On The Prairie that I watched when I was growing up in urban Manhattan helped raise me to be the woman that I am and the "ma" that I plan to become so you can just call me Ma West from now on.)

Until soon, holy now. Yours in life and song, Lizzie (and dharma dog too)